SOLVED! We should build a wall AROUND CHAZ and see how quickly their “autonomous zone” turns into a cannibalism fiesta while selling pay-per-view rights to the world
Let the Hunger Games begin! We’ve finally found a new economic opportunity for downtown Seattle. The solution to the CHAZ / CHOP “autonomous zone” created by soy boy left-wing commies-in-training who think they know how to run society is simpler than you think. We don’t need to send in the troops, and we don’t need to use any sort of police force. First, we invite anyone who wants to leave the zone to exit peacefully, then we build a wall around CHAZ and cut off the water and power grid while enforcing a blockade to halt any deliveries to the zone.
Next we set up Hunger Games cameras all around the zone in a kind of “Truman Show” reality TV event, then we sell pay-per-view access to the rest of the world. Voila! Seattle suddenly has a thriving economy, which means insane libtard left-wing terrorists actually can contribute something to the economy after all.
With the real-time video streams rolling, we let the commies stew in their own filth for a few days, absent any assistance from the rest of the world that they have rejected. After cholera and coronavirus spread through the “resistance” fighters there, we cut the power grid.
Everybody who watched Die Hard knows that the FBI playbook involves cutting the power and phone services to any building that has been seized by terrorists. Why not apply the same strategies to the CHAZ / CHOP zone in Seattle? It’s not even difficult to achieve. The power grid can be cut from outside the zone, depriving the CHAZ terrorists of electricity, since any “autonomous” nation should have its own power grid, right?
You also cut the water pressure, just to make it really interesting. You want autonomy? Try autonomy without plumbing, dipsh#ts.
Once you cut off the water pressure, the toilets stop flushing. So the Black Lives Matter terrorists end up sh#tting in the streets, which would make Ilhan Omar feel so much at home that she’d probably want to move there and become the first ambassador from CHAZ.
Perhaps they can all sh#t in the hilarious communal garden and call it “biosolids” for agriculture. (Seattle as a whole pursues that exact practice on a larger scale, by the way, see Biosludged.com.) As you can see from the photo below, the CHAZ agriculture geniuses are having serious trouble putting together a realistic plan to grow their own food.
You gotta love how plants are just thrown at dirt piles which are scattered on top of sheets of cardboard. As it turns out, left-wing libtards who have never produced anything in their entire lives have collided with a reality check in which they are discovering that if you want to eat food, somebody has to actually grow it. And that takes knowledge, time and effort, not the usual delusions and crybully tactics used by the radical Left:
I can’t wait to see CHAZ hospitals up and running. There will be a sign out front that reads, “COLORED PEOPLE ONLY” along with a subtext of, “Because tolerance, inclusion and diversity.” Inside the hospitals, it will basically be the scene from Idiocracy with pothead doctors telling patients — and I quote from the film itself — “Don’t worry scro. Now they’re plenty of tards out there living really kick-ass lives. My first wife was tarded, she’s a pilot now.” Source: https://youtu.be/UJtCDSnIzGQ
Before long, most of the CHAZ economy will consist of abortion centers where people of color can gleefully murder their offspring, while the reclaimed baby tissue will be composted into the community garden… because “empowerment” and “women’s rights” and all that. Oprah will make an appearance and mention “love” and “community” and other bullsh#t words which will all be strung together to form the title of her next book: “Tolerance, Love and Community in a Time of Oneness: The Unjust American Society from the Point of View of a Billionaire Black Woman Who Has More Money than Almost All White People Combined” or whatever.
Before long, the people of CHAZ will be eating genetically modified soybeans grown in human baby abortion compost while celebrating their newfound “utopia” of peace, love and equality, where all humans are treated equally except for white adults and black babies. And cops, of course. And Christians, come to think of it.
Oh yeah, and cholera will spread pretty quickly, too, as the gutter overflow with human feces. Seattle, the environmentally friendly city where raw feces washes right into the storm drains and into the Puget Sound…
The cannibalism episodes
After the soy burgers run out because CHAZ is walled off from the GMO imports from Brazil — which are mostly contaminated with Bolsonaro’s coronavirus anyway — CHAZ residents will eventually turn to cannibalism and start eating each other. This is where the live streaming gets really profitable as the world tunes in to see which libtards become lunchmeat today. The compliant white libtards will be the first to be “harvested” for the sustenance of the blacks, since white meat makes the best McHuman McNuggets, and white people are so infected with white guilt that many will probably kill themselves as a sacrifice to the remaining residents of color. “I will die for your equality, bro.” And they will, indeed.
After all the whites are hunted, killed and eaten, the Black warlords will hunt around for Asians to harvest, but they’ll discover all the Asians already left because they’re not stupid enough to stick around while a bunch of gang rapper Black Lives thugs try to figure out how to run a complex society. Because if they could have figured that out, Haiti wouldn’t be a sh#thole, would it? So next, they’ll look for the Mexicans and eat them, not realizing they just ate their entire labor force since the Blacks in charge not only have no desire to engage in any physical labor; they don’t even remember how to work or produce anything.
Corporate sponsors will drop weapons to the warlords
NIKE will chime in with corporate sponsorship while the audiences scream to the Black warlords, “Just do it!” And just like in the Hunger Games, Facebook will pay to have AK-47s and other exotic weapons air-dropped into the CHAZ zone, just to add some spice to the live streaming which, by now, will cause YouTube’s revenues to skyrocket, lifting the entire stock market to record highs as stay-at-home soy boys who masturbate with one hand and trade Robinhood with the other start dumping all their funds into live streaming tech stocks.
The ACLU will at some point demand the live human Hunger Games trials be halted, but by this time there’s so much revenue in the business model that even the politicians will have been bought off.
And it won’t stop with Seattle, either. We can imagine Black Lives Hunger Games episodes springing up in Portland, Los Angeles, Houston, Chicago and even Baltimore. Think MMA but with weapons and a much larger arena. This isn’t some tiny combat cage; it’s an entire liberal city… with corporate sponsors, no less!
Here’s the complete list of the libtard corporations that will be glad to pony up the dough, too.
Can’t wait for the “watch the white soy boys survive East St. Louis” edition to air
With all the cops in America having already quit their jobs, the Hunger Games model will be the only remaining option for many U.S. cities. Eventually, they’ll even have to roll out “White Hunger Games” in places like Boulder, where measly-framed “progressive” white boys will be harvested from the weekend farmers’ markets and thrown into the Black neighborhoods of East St. Louis to see how long they survive all the gang bangers and violent criminals they’ve spent their adult lives defending out of an overarching sense of white guilt.
The best part is when the live streaming producers make all the white boys wear large signs that say, “I hate ni@@ers,” ripped right out of Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995), in case you’re wondering where that reference comes from:
Wendy’s will be a sponsor of that, of course, offering to burn down an extra Wendy’s restaurant somewhere across America every time a black contestant gets killed by a white boy… which will NEVER happen, it turns out, in case you were wondering. White boys don’t win the street fights in the real world (only on gaming consoles).
There’s already another movie about all this, by the way. It’s called Running Man, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger (years before he became a libtard politician).
This is a glimpse of (sort of) what’s coming to America next:
Yeah, I know. Hockey sticks with exploding pucks. Could the combat be any more “white privileged?” Black folks don’t play hockey. It’s obviously rigged against black folks. Maybe the Hollywood studios will have to ban the film now out of an abundance sense of “wokeness.”
In any case, CHAZ is about to become the most exciting reality TV operation since Survivor. But without the scripted drama. Just a real-time witness to the collapse of a libtard utopia into a third world cesspool of death and disease… which, ironically, is what the Democrats have in mind for the entire nation if they win back the White House.
This article is satire, and if you are offended, you should be thrown into the CHAZ pit to see if you can survive reality
If you are offended by this satire article, by the way, you should be thrown into the CHAZ pit with the warlords. If you can’t handle the “offensiveness” of words, just wait until a Black Lives warlord terrorist shoves an AK-47 into your face and demands you hand over your wallet, your house, your daughter and your nation. Because that’s the reality of what Black Lives Matter is really about: Total communist revolution and takeover. If you can’t handle one satire article, you absolutely can’t handle what BLM actually wants to do to our nation.
No jokes aside, they really will run your country into the abyss because destruction and suffering is the only thing they know.
If you think left-wing terrorists and communists can run a complex society with transparency, justice, freedom and abundance, you’re smoking crack. There isn’t a single example in world history where they’ve ever accomplished anything close to that. But they’re awesome at destroying abundance and unleashing suffering and death.
If you love suffering, death and destruction, vote for your favorite Democrat this coming November. But if you want to see law and order restored to the point where you can walk down the street without being threatened by a Black Lives matter warlord and told to kneel before your conquerors, you should probably reject the Democrats and everything they stand for (i.e. death, destruction, demeaning anti-human agendas, violence, collapse, etc.).
Finally, don’t take this article too seriously. It’s called “satire.” You know, comedy. Something America has forgotten, it seems, in its rush to achieve libtardian levels of wokeness and self-delusion. That’s why you can only find an article this poignant and funny on a website that has been completely blacklisted by Facebook, Twitter and Google.
And censorship is no laughing matter.