An astounding 96 percent of NOAA's temperature stations fail to the meet the agency's own "uncorrupted placement" standards, according to research compiled by the Heartland Institute. Most of them are located near objects that trap or produce heat, corrupting their readouts.

Others are located in areas that, since the time of their placement, have become far more urbanized. This, too, is increasing the heat readouts and making it seem all across the board that "climate change" is real. (Related: The biggest heater of the planet is the sun, not cow flatulence or gas-powered vehicles.)

"With a 96 percent warm-bias in U.S. temperature measurements, it is impossible to use any statistical methods to derive an accurate climate trend for the U.S.," says Heartland Institute Senior Fellow Anthony Watts, the study's director.